elderly parents
‘We already treated them to a S$600 meal’: Parents frustrated after grandparents ask for more in exchange for babysitting
SINGAPORE: A Singaporean father has aired his frustration on Reddit after his parents demanded compensation for caring for their grandchild, even floating the idea that he should pay for their holiday in return.
Posting under the title "Transactional parents" on the r/asksg forum, the man said his parents—who only see the child once or twice a week and are not his regular caregiver—had agreed to watch him for a few days while he and his wife travelled overseas, but wanted to be “compensated” for it.
“We have a helper [but] they want to take care of the grandkid for a few days (when we travel) but want to be compensated. They suggested we pay for their holiday. What would you do? They bring up compensation/ reward ‘jokingly’ when they do help with childcare occasionally till it’s not funny anymore.”
He also recalled that the previous time they went on holiday, his parents looked after their son for two nights. As a gesture of appreciation, the family treated the grandparents to a meal.
“We treated them to a meal to thank them for it, and they picked a hotel restaurant, and the bill was S$600.”
“This asking for a benefit in return feels like they are not genuine in wanting to care for their grandchild.”
‘You can always say no’
In the comments, one Reddit user said they found the grandparents’ expectations unusual and wondered whether money had always been a sensitive issue in the family.
“Oh, that is indeed very odd...have they been like that when you were growing up? If they've always been money-minded and are emphasising that you need to give back to them in the future, then perhaps this is just an added layer to that?”
Another pointed out that the post author could simply decline whenever they offered to help with childcare. “You can always say no. But then you’ll have to find other means of childcare unless you bring your kids along for your trip.”
A third suggested he ask whether his parents are facing financial difficulties. “Maybe you can ask if they are facing financial hardship? Or ask, why are they being so calculative towards family? Doesn’t sound normal that your parents are trying to milk you for taking care of your children?”
A fourth advised, “Depending on how close you are to your parents emotionally, you can choose to 1. Talk to them and let them know how uncomfortable their demands for compensation make you.”
Newsletter
Get updates straight to your inbox
“2. Distance your family from your parents; not saying you should cut them off completely, but just to be transactional with them in ways you can. Maybe someday they will tell you how uncomfortable they feel, and you will then tell them your reasons and feelings.”
In other news, a university student in her final semester vented on Reddit about employers repeatedly offering her internships instead of full-time jobs.
The woman explained that she has been applying for fresh graduate positions, yet PR agencies and small firms or startups keep responding to her entry-level applications with offers of “six-month internships.”