Man playing a game on his computer
Singapore woman worries BF may not be financially ready for their BTO after S$1.4k gaming spree
SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman recently turned to Reddit after discovering that her boyfriend of one year and eight months had spent S$1,400 on games over four months.
Posting on the r/asksg subreddit on Saturday (Aug 15), the woman said she and her boyfriend had already spoken about his spending habits in the past, particularly his tendency to spend money on “games and figurines/merchandise.”
“We discussed it before and agreed he would control his spending. He can spend up to S$500 per month for games, and he told me he lowered it after he met me.”
At the time, she felt reassured that he had taken their conversations seriously and was genuinely trying to become more mindful about how he spent his money.
However, those feelings changed when her boyfriend recently allowed her to peek at his bank account.
According to her, he had spent S$600 on games in January, S$200 in February, S$200 in March, and another S$400 in April.
“These are only games, not counting the rest of his spending, like food and other kinds of subscriptions and stuff,” she wrote.
“I'm already in my late 20s, and he is in his early 30s. We are successful in applying for a BTO, and it would take 5 years to complete. Previously, I was confident to do this with him because we talked about his spending, and he agreed to it. But it seems like he didn't change at all on his spending.”
She was also concerned that her boyfriend still relied on his father for financial support.
“From what I know, his father has set aside some money for him. I feel this is not the right thing to do to rely on parents' money for your own life now that he is working and in his early 30s and has a partner.”
The woman added that she found the way he spent his money “way too scary,” especially given that his take-home pay is only S$3,000 a month.
Although her boyfriend has since accused her of being “controlling,” she maintained that her concerns were not about dictating how he should spend his money, but rather about their financial future as a couple.
“I am worried about our future. Is it even safe to be with him, to get a house together, pay bills, etc? All these have been running in my mind,” she admitted.
“For me, I plan for the future; we have been working for about 3 years, but he only has about S$21k in savings, while I have about S$60k.”
“10-15% of salary on his hobbies is a reasonable amount”
Several commenters in the thread agreed with the woman’s concerns. They said her boyfriend’s spending habits were a “red flag” and that she was right to have doubts about their future together.
One user wrote, “Someone who cannot take care of their own finances cannot take care of you. I experienced it first hand.”
Another said, “Red flag for me, not because he kept gaming, but because he has no proper discussion, plan, or action for your future.”
A third commented, “With a BTO on the way? You sure he can contribute his half of the BTO?”
Still, not everyone thought his gaming expenses were automatically a problem. Some commenters argued that people should be allowed to spend part of their income on hobbies.
One told her, “10-15% of salary on his hobbies is a reasonable amount, in my opinion. As long as there's still a reasonable amount of savings at the end of the month, just let him be happy, bah.”
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Another added, “Don’t be a red flag. It’s important he has a hobby. Better gaming than Thai disco, etc. If he plays RPG games where he is a leader of sorts, it actually teaches community management.”
“You have no idea the difficulty in managing an alliance/guild, especially when you have whales in your group. His salary will not always remain the same. And frankly, if he shows you his bank statement, he is already demonstrating his love for you.”
In other news, a Singapore employee has sought advice online after growing frustrated with a colleague who allegedly takes three to five days of medical leave almost every month.
In a post on the r/asksg subreddit on Friday (Aug 14), the employee said he was all for showing empathy towards colleagues who were genuinely unwell. After all, if someone is sick, they should be able to take the time they need to recover.
This particular colleague, however, had more than once inconvenienced others with his absence.