“I’ll be happy when…” is a thought that has ironically caused much unhappiness for men and women chasing anything in this world.
We find ourselves running after something — marriage, kids, a bigger house, a nicer car — and when we finally catch the thing we’re chasing, we find ourselves still feeling a bit empty.
In psychology, this concept is called the “focusing illusion”. It’s a cognitive bias where people place too much emphasis on a future event and as a result, inaccurately predict the reality of the event.
Think about a time you’ve told yourself a story about a goal or dream you were going after and in your head it looked like a fairy tale. But, once you’ve actually achieved the goal or dream the reality was far less epic.
That’s focusing illusion.
In “why setting big goals can make you miserable”, I explained it using the concept of “post-marathon syndrome”, a well-documented state of sadness, worthlessness and letdown. It’s a natural human reaction.
Many aspiring entrepreneurs suffer from such psychological phenomena. They tell themselves stories of what life as an entrepreneur will be like — but once they actually live the life of an entrepreneur they discover the reality is anything but.
Often times, these stories come in the form of “I’ll be happy when…” like:
- I’ll be happy when… I start a business.
- I will be happy when… I make US$100,000 a year from my business.
- I will be happy when… I sell my business and become a millionaire.
- I will be happy when… [fill in the blank].
One story aspiring entrepreneurs tell themselves is that they will be happy when they find some of the many myths associated with entrepreneurship — flexibility, wealth, notoriety, etc.
But, from my own experience as an entrepreneur, these illusions aren’t discovered or achieved through entrepreneurship:
- I will be happy when I have more flexibility as an entrepreneur
My life hasn’t become more flexible after building JotForm (and it wasn’t anything close to being flexible during the first ten or so years). After 12 years, my responsibility today is only bigger — managing, hiring, strategising and worrying.
If, as an entrepreneur, you’re working 40 hours a week and “worrying” an additional 40 hours outside of work… is your life truly flexible?
- I will be happy when I have greater wealth as an entrepreneur
While JotForm has been a modest success for myself and my team, for every modest entrepreneurial success, there are thousands of failures. And, regardless of the Cinderella stories you hear in the media, the reality of entrepreneurial failure is anything but a fairy tale.
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There’s nothing poetic about going tens of thousands of dollars in debt because your dream didn’t take off. Where it concerns entrepreneurship, I would argue that wealth isn’t something that should be expected… I’d argue it’s a rare exception.
In fact, according to this study, the average entrepreneur makes roughly US$5 per hour starting out and established entrepreneurs make US$62 hour. Yes, that’s good money, but far from being a millionaire.
- I will be happy when I have more notoriety as an entrepreneur
Another misconception of entrepreneurship is that it leads to notoriety or fame. While some entrepreneurs like Musk and Zuckerberg are celebrated like rock stars, most of us go completely unnoticed.
Instead of trying to make it to a magazine cover, I choose picking olives and spending quality time with my family.
So, when you truly look at flexibility, wealth and notoriety, you realise that entrepreneurship isn’t necessarily the best path to take to achieve these things.
Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. Just because it’s cool or you are born to become an entrepreneur doesn’t mean your friends should become one.
If you want more flexibility, you might as well work for a remote-friendly company. If you seek wealth, you might as well make money working in real estate, sales or investment banking.
While there’s nothing wrong with these things, they can’t necessarily be found through entrepreneurship — or at least as easily as other paths.
Before making the choice to become an entrepreneur (or an employee for that matter), we can ask ourselves what truly makes us happy and be extremely realistic with ourselves… because it might just be focusing illusion getting the better of us.
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This was originally published on JotForm.
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